Somewhere between 26 and 27--life began for me. I don't even remember what it was like without you anymore? Surely I was less tired. I can see the aging my face has done when I look into the mirror. I feel like I could laugh at myself thinking I didn't have time before. All I had was time! I used to complain about how busy our lives were. Dad coaching, and our work schedules and feeling guilty about not finding time for Bizzy and Boss. And then you came. And I understood what busy really meant. And I understood how exhausted a person could actually feel. How fast days blurred together and how quickly months and seasons passed. But most of all I understood the clichés. Those stupid sayings about your heart walking around outside your body. It all literally made perfect sense. How could a little being make me feel so drained, exhausted yet so fulfilled and whole? How could you easily be the hardest most amazing thing I've ever done? I don't know, but I know that all 365 days of you in my life have been bliss. I don't know what gave me purpose before you? But watching you learn to hold your bottle, and grab your toes, pick up your food, turn book pages and mimic the things we teach you is literally mind blowing for me. How can something I helped create be so perfect?!? Oh Chuck, but you are.
It's been a blessing to have you join our lives. I pray the same prayer for you every time I lay you down to sleep; I pray you are happy, God keeps you healthy and uses you for good, but most of all I pray you know how very loved you are. By every single person in your life!
You brought out the loud spunk from the beginning and often I'd wonder if I was going to get everything I have dished out in you. I think it's safe to say you won't be easy, but you are an adventure. I wonder if you will be sweet, loving and thoughtful like your Dad, or if your going to be loud, outspoken and too brutally honest like me. Will you be laid back, or a bossy type A? Will you like girly stuff or fishing? Are you always going to think Daddy hung the moon? When are you going to stop thinking it's fun to have dance parties with your mom and dad? I wonder a lot about the little person you are becoming, and live in awe at how much of a little sponge you are right now.
Thank you for being the most joyful and wonderful gift to me and Dad. Your little smile and laugh light up our world. I cannot believe how fast this year has gone and how much you have grown. I promise to stop and enjoy the little moments with you always, and to let the messiness of the house stay in order to soak in some extra Chuck moments because if life flies as fast as it has this first year, I'll need to get in all the time I can!